“I’m sorry for such a rude request.”
It’s certainly rude. Basically, it’s not good manners for someone below to talk to someone above.
That can be mitigated by the degree of familiarity, but today is the first time he and I have met…with the annotation that I’ve been the person I am now.
“No…what is the story?
I give a small nod of the head.
Honestly, I can’t even guess what he wants to tell me at this point in time.
“I heard that Your Highness has lost her memory, is that true?”
He opens his mouth to check carefully.
“Yes…Just to say that I’ve lost it might be a misnomer. There are things I can’t remember, and things I should know but don’t…Also, I know it, but I feel like it’s not me or…”
Well, with all these precautions, I should be fine.
“Are you having trouble remembering?”
“What do I think? I don’t think I’m in as much of a state of disarray as I am of disorganization.”
I’ve decided to call it amnesia, but as a matter of fact, it’s not even amnesia, so…I honestly don’t really know what kind of condition I’m in.
…What does this guy want to know?
Phil-Lynn scratched his heads.
“Ah, I’m sorry, but can we talk normally?”
“I do not mind.”
“Thank you.”
Phil-Lynn is apparently not very good at polite speech or anything like that.
“To put it bluntly, people with amnesia sometimes get their memories back.”
Phil-Lynn laughs and says, ‘This is the ground, so please forgive me,’ and begins to speak in a broken tone.
So blunt…
“So, when you get your memory back, most of the time you lose it during the time you had amnesia.”
“Yes.”
That’s what happened with dramas and stuff…
I nodded my head.
“Yeah, I’d like for you to get your memory back, or as much as possible, but I want you to stay as you are now, as far as I’m concerned.”
‘For His Highness,’ says Phil.
“For His Highness?”
Honestly, I think I’m a little weak to the phrase ‘for His Highness.’
“Yes.”
“With all due respect, I must confess that I didn’t know you before. No, I knew you, but I didn’t have an impression of you. That’s how thin you were to me in the past. But I was surprised. Now you’re completely different.”
‘You have a proper presence now.’ Phil-Lynn looks straight at me and opens his mouth.
His gaze is strong, as if he’s assessing something.
But I’m not overwhelmed by it now.
“It’s still the case. You never used to make eye contact with anyone…The only thing I vaguely remember about you before that was your golden hair and glass eyes didn’t look anywhere.”
Hmmm, that’s a terrible thing to say. But I don’t blame him because I know he’s being honest about it.
His Highness said something similar…
“I’m running for householders because I know how special you are to that guy, Nigel.”
“…?”
I tilt my head further.
“You are the sole princess of Nigel and the presumptive heir of Elzevert. Certainly there is no substitute for that alone. But that’s not what I’m talking about…it’s because you are the only one allowed by Nigel.
“The only one His Highness would allow?”
“Yes. The only thing he wants and can have for himself.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Ah, you don’t think Nigel is just some nice, sweet prince, right?”
Phil-Lynn scratches his head. This is probably a habit.
Maybe it’s a habit. Or when he’s embarrassed or in a bit of a bind.
“Yes.”
I nod.
Because I know.
I know that His Highness is a bit mature, a bit natural, and a bit of a child.
“You know what’s special about that?”
“……maybe.”
I know he doesn’t show that look to everyone.
That doesn’t mean I’m so smug that I’m proud of it, though.
“…Nigel hasn’t had as smooth sailing a life as people make it out to be. If anything, that guy has always been robbed.”
“Has he been robbed for a long time?”
It was a word that didn’t fit terribly well.
His Highness would have taken it back on his own.
“Yeah. He seems to have figured it all out. It’s all based on him giving up.”
“Giving up?”
Another word that doesn’t fit.
“He never wanted to be the Crown Prince.”
‘No matter how much time has passed, I can assure you that much,’ Phil-Lynn said.
There’s something about that profile that finally makes me squirm.
What is this?
“Well, I didn’t want to say that…you know, he’s given up on everything. He gave up on his dreams, his life plan, his goals, everything. He had to have that life, and say he liked it…Because he has a lot to offer…So now he’s doing the ‘Sweet Prince Charming’ thing.”
I thought I understand
I don’t know, but I understand what he’s saying.
I also felt the creepiness, or rather the presence of that ‘perfect crown prince mask’ that His Royal Highness wears, which I initially thought I didn’t like.
“From the moment he became the Crown Prince, he’s been endlessly exploited.”
“…Exploited?”
“Yeah. Exploited…He keeps chipping away at himself and giving…to his country and to his people.”
“…The king is a servant of the state.”
This was originally said by someone in the days of the unified empire when they admonished the emperor at the time. The original text says ‘The emperor is a servant of the state,’ but Dardinia is a monarchy.
Phil-Lynn’s eyes widen lightly.
“That’s right. But, you know…that guy isn’t even the king yet, and yet he’s given too much. He doesn’t have any selfishness, or “I” at all. It’s called give and take, but while he gives, he has no one to give to him.”
“I don’t think that’s the case…”
Because I think everyone is also doing various things for His Highness.
“Oh, I’ll rephrase it. No one is giving him what he wants.”
I can see that.
His Highness is a tough sell. He’s got a lot of conflicts of interest.
“That’s why you’re the only one.”
He’s finally come to that.
But I knew Phil-Lynn was just being honest…speaking his true intentions without a price.
“…What?”
“He’s used to giving up. Rather, he doesn’t want it from the beginning. Most things can be seen for him. But not you.”
“Well…?”
In this case, what should I say?
Phil-Lynn’s crushed tone is dragging me down, and I’m starting to lose my princess persona.
“You are his wife. If it’s okay to say so, you are his.”
There is a part of me that wants to argue somewhat, but well, it’s not a mistake.
“He’s allowed to be himself if he wants to…and no one can take you away from him.”
Unless there is a physical kidnapping…or something that would get me killed, though.
Because after all, I am His Highness’s wife, and he is the practically supreme authority in this country, who will eventually become King, so no one can take me away from Him. Not even His Majesty the King could do that.
A formal marriage has that kind of compulsion.
“After being robbed for so long, that man who could have gone down to nothing, has fallen in love with you.”
I was thunderstruck.
“You could call it a miracle of luck.”
Phil-Lynn looks at me with a serious expression on his face.
“That’s why I’m here… to protect you.”
I didn’t feel like messing around.
“…It’s quite abrupt, isn’t it?”
I give a small chuckle.
But I didn’t doubt Phil’s words.
He’s the kind of person who’s just arrived today as an apprentice householder, who would suddenly start talking about such blunt things and call the Crown Princess ‘you.’
…Lilia was right.
The one and only confidant of His Highness.
I’m jealous of how nice it is to have foster siblings! The same is true for Lilia and His Highness Shion, but what can I say…I feel like they have a special bond.
“Ah, if it’s true, we should probably build up a little bit of trust and whatnot, but I’m missing that time. In fact, I’m afraid to even take the time to do so. It’s too late to do that when if happens to you.”
‘That’s why I talked about these things so quickly,’ Phil-Lynn laughs.
“Because that guy asked me to do it too.”
I scratch my head again, looking a little embarrassed.
Oh, I know what I was hazy about…
This is jealousy.
I don’t know if I’m jealous of His Highness and that bond he has with him…
Is it just me, or is it just me, or can friendships between men be more than friends at times?
“As long as Nigel is away from the palace, you will be targeted.”
Phil-Lynn changes his words.
“Yes.”
I knew it, I thought.
“But don’t think for one second he’s going to make you a target because he wants to. You’re the only thing he has left in the world that makes you valuable to him.”
“It’s okay. I saw it coming”
“Huh?”
At my words, Phil-Lynn gave me a look that said he didn’t understand what he had just heard.
“His Highness’s foster brother, a close aid, someone who is not supposed to be an apprentice householder or anything like that, is coming…I figured he was worried about me, but on the flip side, I also thought it would be that much more dangerous. If His Highness is away, it’s only natural that the palace will have more opportunities than usual, and if it were His Highness…he would at least set a trap.”
“………”
The stunned look on his face is funny and I chuckle.
“Am I wrong?”
I looked up at him.
“…No…Great answer. You’re amazing.”
Phil, with a look of heartfelt surprise on his face, asks in a serious tone,
“So what did you think?”
“What do I think?”
“That he’s using you as bait.”
I think the fact that he’s properly saying ‘you’ to me and ‘him’ as His Highness is makes us feel closer! (***basically, Phil-Lynn is using informal honorifics)
“That’s very typical of His Highness.”
I’m a little glad to see that I half-predicted it correctly.
Maybe I’m starting to read His Highness’s thought patterns a little better!
“……That’s all?”
“Hmmm, it’s better that you told me this over here so I could prepare myself, and there are a lot of other things too…but as long as the plan doesn’t fail, it doesn’t really affect me, so it’s fine…”
And then Phil bursts out.
“You are really, really awesome.”
It’s back to ‘you’ again. Does this mean I’ve been accepted?
Ahahahahah!…And a loud laugh echoed through the air.
We laugh so much that the guards, who usually watch over me quietly from the shadows, have even gathered to see what’s going on.
“Hey.”
“Yes?”
“If…If you get your memory back, I hope you won’t forget that guy.”
“I don’t think I’ll forget…but it will be okay.”
This isn’t amnesia, so I don’t think that’s the case.
But it’s probably okay even if I do forget.
“Why?”
“Because even if I forget, I’m sure I still love His Highness.”
For example, even if I really had amnesia, I don’t think I would ever lose this feeling.
I lost my memory of Arthirea at the lake that winter, but it is still alive in me now.
I think this feeling was not born out of the blue, but is an extension of everything.
“Even if my memories are gone, I won’t forget the most important thing, I’m sure.”
Phil-Lynn looks funny, as if he wants to laugh, cringe and scream, and then scratches his head.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s not that I’m itching for something, it’s just that I feel so lonely. I have heartburn…”
“???????”
“Okay, that’s you.”
Phil-Lynn laughed as if he’d given up.
…Weird.
I tilted my head, not really understanding what he was saying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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